A Video Birthday Presentation from My Brother

My little bro Peejay Bailon gave me this wonderful video presentation for my 30th birthday. It really takes creativity and wit and so much love for someone to create something as touching as this video presentation. Sobrang halo halong emotion ang naramdaman ko when I first saw this. Sobrang touched talaga ako as in. I don't know what I have in me to deserve being loved by special people. Thank you so much Utoy, you know you can count on me on anythings, as in anything....

Another Year Without Divine

If my bestfriend is still alive, it would be her 30th birthday...most likely she already have her own family and a child of her own. She would have been a flight stewardess and was able to travel all over the world. But she stopped counting her birhday since she had her 25th...25 years of colorful and adventurous life is what she got.

I miss her, definitely miss her...especially now that our batch just recently had our own facebook page wherein we all could sign in and update each other about what's going on with our lives. I wished we still have her so she can write on our discussion wall and be with us on our reunion next month. I just hope I was able to let her feel that I love her when she was still alive and I know that she is now happy living the life that she deserves... a life without any fear, hurt or pain...

I love you bestfriend. I will still continue to remember you always as promised.. Happy Birthday...

On Losing Another Friend

At last, it's my rest day! I with the whole team are really looking forward to this day as we are really feeling so stressed out due to a number of calls that we take these past couple of weeks. No avail time as in. Sup said it's most likely because most of Americans purchased a new laptop for Christmas and they are calling us for help on how to configure it. Anyways, after our shift last Wednesday (that would be Thursday morning), I together with most of my teammates went straight to Cafe Agogo to relax and just hang out. We really had a great time and just talked about our future plans and our views on what's happening to the office. We ate breakfast and had some beer. My friend Sam already passed her resignation. It's really a sad thing. She has been my friend for almost a year now...but I also know in the back of my mind that she is not happy in what she is doing anymore. She continues to fail her scorecard and we all know that sooner or later, she had to leave. What I am sad about is that when she passed her resignation letter to our coach, the coach bluntly said..."eh dito rin naman pala mapupunta to eh kasi hindi ka pumapasa sa scorecard..." ("this is the same exact path it would lead you because you are failing your scorecard") when they reviewed her performance for the past year. I feel bad for her because Coach should have at least try to console her and at least show a little sympathy. It's like putting a salt to a wound. I can't also blame Coach, he already have given her a lot of chances and yet she is not improving her scores. I think it's because she is stressed out and had a lot of issues in her family that she can hardly concentrate on her job. I just pray this resignation would help her ease her mind and focus on what she really wants.

I would definitely miss Sam. She is a type of lesbian who really does have a dream for herself. Someone, who inspite of ridicule and persecution she've got because of her gender still manages to stand up for her choice. I hope she finds her own niche and would be able to still fight her own battle.

Good night everyone!

the girls...

the boys...

the men....lol!

Addiction with Early Morning Chitchat with My Friends

Grabe, for the past 2 consecutive days last week...wala kaming ginawa after shift kundi makipagsocialize! Hahaha! Yup, after we've finished our FCR and DAWN chorva...eto at diretso kami sa Cafe Agogo along Ortigas Avenue to relax and unwind. Maganda kasi ang ambience at ang best part is may upuan silang me kutson. Hehehe. Meron kasi akong thing for chairs na me foam, I feel relaxed and parang ang sarap makipagchickahan pag ganun yung setting. You just need to sit back and relax and just have a good laugh with your friends after a hard night shift. Yung light pa nila sobrang cozy and parang sosyalin but the food is good and affordable naman. Ganda pa nung mga pinapatugtog nila. Medyo mellow. Buti nalang at ever present ang aking mga girlfriends na kahit na puyat eh gora lang pagdating sa gimikan.

The first time was last Friday, napagdesisyunang hintayin na ang pay till 11 am and magpalipas ng oras sa bar. So eto, nilimas na ang ilang natatagong lumang pera at nagkwentuhan at naglaitan lang. Present sina Imee, Ice and Melai...I told them gusto kong umiyak and ever willing naman silang samahan ako. So eto, kahit me shift kinagabihan... inom lang ng inom...

The second time was the day after that, Saturday morning. It's just so happen na Gherj, our OFW friend had her 3 day vacation here sa Pinas and she wants to see us! Yehey! So eto at nagmeet ulit kami saan pa kundi sa Cafe Agogo ulit. Hahaha! We had a very light conversation and we just updated each other with what's going on with our lives. Ang ganda ni beki as in, ang yaman ng arrive! I am really happy for my friend as she is really pursuing her dreams. Kudos to you Ghergina at salamat sa bonggang bonggang Charles&Keith na bag na pasalubong mo. Ang sosyal sosyal na talaga ng kumare ko! Yung inaanak mo ginagawa na namin, next year makikilala mo na sya. Hahaha!

Hay ang saya talaga pag me beer at mga kakwentuhan kang hindi boring. And do you know kung ano ang usual naming topic? Syempre matters of the heart. Hehe. Sarap lang umiyak ng umagang umaga with a cold SMB while pouring out your thoughts with people you know loves you and understands you most of all. I just love early morning conversation with my friends and I bet mauulit at mauulit ito. Sana we can do this at least thrice a week mga bekis! Ay, twice nalang pala...magastos eh. Here's a peek of some of our early morning gimiks!

Day 1: Friday, August 28, 8:30 am

with bebe gurl ice...my original wavemate/ teammate / friend for 3 years now

with melai and imee and ice... grabe ibang klaseng conversation ang naganap...

i don't know why i want to cry... basta trip ko lang, pero parang di ito magaganap ngayon...

my girlfriends... you rock!

i ordered ham omelet...it's good for only P69.

ang treat kong isang bucket ng san mig light...the best talaga sya sa umaga. Hahaha!

Day 2: Saturday, August 29, around 9:30 AM

with bebe ice again

and melai...

at last, with Gherjeane, buo na naman ang gang namin!

the rosemary chicken is so expensive for P160...di ako nasatisfy sa flavor... its so dry.

and I got my first Charles&Keith bag na shalang shala! Thanks so much mare, i love et!

Utoy's 23rd @ Muchos

Utoy celebrated his 23rd birthday last Saturday August 15 where else but on our favorite hang out, Muchos Bar! It was indeed a happy and very enjoyable celebration. Right after our shift – I, Melai, Ice , and Mitch headed straight to Metrowalk following Utoy who went ahead of us to meet his college friends and to have our room reserved. It was around 8:30 am and I cant believe that the bar is already filled with yuppies. Hahaha, ang mga tomador nga naman ng mga call center! Hehe. Anyways, since no table pa for us… we stayed outside for almost 30 minutes! Hay, we saw daddy Josh pa, our former teammates and Odie our current teammate na parang hindi naman (ang gulo noh). Anyways, Jonjon came earlier than Mamu-himala! And we came to meet Utoy’s friends namely AJ (Alfredo Jr but I tagged him as AR for I don’t know why, haha), Joy (my equally voluptuous sisterette) and our friend Benny Boy.. Mamu came late about an hour after we arrived and it must be destiny because he came at the same time we are about to order our food. Hahaha! After we have eaten our lunch, the waiter already gave the go signal saying the room is now ready so the three hour period of fun and laughter started at exactly 10 am. Dee, my dear friend who just recently resigned the day before the celebration also came at around 11 am. At first, she was so frustrated but after we explained to her and gave her encouragements…she was relieved. The fear she had in mind was really nothing serious and we were able to convince her that there is still life behind work. She just enjoyed the party and laughed her heart out with us. It was indeed a celebration of life of a boy who strives to help his family and managed to send his 3 siblings to school. A bright boy who wants nothing but the best for his family. Kudos to you PJ “utoy” Bailon and salamat sa sobrang saying pagtitipon. Yahoo! Till next time! You rock!

buhay na buhay ang social life ng mga hitad every Saturday, yehey!

finally after 48 years, andito na kami sa loob at ngumangawa...

umapaw ng food at drinks, thank you Utoy for this party!

Mamu's Farewell Party @ Muchos Bar

Though it's been almost three weeks since we gave our dear Mamu a farewell party, I would still write about it as it is a very memorable event for all of us. Three days after he finally decided to leave our company, we - his former teammates/friends decided to to give him a Send Off Party or we may say a Good Luck Party. We want the best for him so though it hurts us so to see him leave so soon, we know this is what will make him happy and more successful so we just accepted the situation. Here's what happened last August 1,2009.

Just after our shift (around 9am), our team (Melai, Dianne, Kuya Kriz, Sam, PJ, Ice, Milo and myself) headed straight to Muchos Bar @ Metrowalk to meet our dear friends Mamu and Jonjon. We asked the receptionist if there's any available room for ten people and she said it won't be available till 9:30 am. They asked us to just find a table inside since we still have 30 mins left to wait. Right after we've settled inside and ordered some beer while we wait for our turn on the room, the waiter approached us saying we we're misinformed and told us that the room won't be available till 11 AM. We're so pissed coz it seems like we've waited for 30 mins. for nothing. Since we've already spent 30 mins chatting inside the bar, we just decided to stay and just spend the day chatting and just splurge on the overflowing supply of San Mig Light. We also ordered rice meals as we're already damn hungry waiting for our turn. The food is quite affordable, their menu includes sizzling plates such as sisig, liempo, chicken barbeque etc... which price ranges from P100 - P150 pesos each. They sell beers @ around P35/bottle which is kinda okey compared to other higher high end bar. The place is so noisy and we barely hear each other and since it's almost 11 am -s o we decided to just wai for a couple more minutes and just rent the videoke room. It's already 10:30 am anyway at that time. The videoke room rental fee is P2500 for max. of 12 persons for 3 straight hours. What's best is that the P2500 rental fee is consumable which means you can eat inside the room while singing your heart out! We've already consumed around P1500 @ the bar and the waiter said that we could only include P1000 on the consumable amount which means we need to pay the excess P500 and consume the remaining P1500 inside the videoke room. We thought of speaking with the Manager as we felt that we do have the right to demand getting the whole P1500 as part of the consumable amount for the room rental. I, as always, was the spoke person and to be honest with you - this is the first time I'll gonna demand something from a manager! I'm just lucky that the manager agreed to our demands and I was so happy. I never thought speaking with higher authority sometimes does the trick. I would bear that in mind from now on, hehe.

At around 11:30 am...the room is finally ready! Yehey! Ang saya saya! Being a camwhore as we are...I, Utoy and Dara took around 300 photos all in all form the three hour videoke session that we had. Hahaha! We also made a total of 4 MTV's from the said 3 hour event. Masaya kasi lahat game at definitely walang KJ! Mahirap magsama ng KJ kaya we makes sure na in every gimikan...walang maarte. Haha! Ang saya ng event kasi kasama ng buong barkada ang mga teammates naming sina Kuya Kriz, Sam and Milo . I hope Mamu was touched with the despedida party we gave him. I hope he knows and feels that he would definitely be missed. Aw.

Here are some of our wacky pictures @ Muchos Bar, Metrowalk Ortigas Pasig...



Bagong dating...freshness pa...

Kasama ang mga bagong kasapi...Sam, Kuya Kriz and Milo

I gave him "tea cups" and a "bench cologne" . He can't get over it hahaah! Me istorya kasi yan eh.

Ala sige kanta!

We'll gonna miss you Mamu! Good Luck!

For Mamu With Love From Team Paul's Teeth

Another video presentation made by the one and only Perlito "Utoy" Bailon - a presentation to reminisce how Mamu touched our lives in sooo many ways. Team Pauls Teeth loves you Mamu!!! Good luck and we know this is not the end but just the beginning of a thousand more excapades together. We may have lost a teammate but we definitely gained a friend.... All the best Mamu! - TEAM PAUL

FIRST NIGHT WITHOUT MY BROTHER

Just last Thursday, my brother Mamu left the company for good. He already passed his resignation and bid his final farewell to the company he served for almost one and a half year. The same company that opened door for our friendship and which been a silent witness on how our friendship bloomed into something extraordinary. The first time I heard about the night he passed his resignation from our common friend and officemate....I was not really shocked. We've been talking about his plan of resigning for almost six months now so I am aware and I've already anticipated that this day would soon come. The first time I heard about his plan of resigning was last year, before Christmas of 2009. We were on our shift and we're on avail. For the fist time, he told me that he would soon resign, he talked about planning of getting a different job and he said it would probably happen after Christmas. I don't know why I was not able to control my emotion and I just felt tears flowing from my eyes. How can I let go of a beautiful friendship? How can I manage to just let a beautiful friendship go just like that. I can't imagine working on a shift without my friend who's been my constant companion everyday for almost 4 months. I beg him to stay and asked him if he could prolong his stay for another three months. Maybe he realized that he is still enjoying his work and that the environment is still okey plus he've got our barkada...the funniest and wackiest barkada there is so he chose to stay. The second time he brought up the topic of resignation was on my 29th birthday last February. He confessed and told me that he already decided to just leave and find his luck elsewhere. Of course, since I am not yet ready for it, I again asked him to stay. I told him the pros and cons of this action. I told him we have a great barkada and everything is running smoothly still. The company still provides us with great compensations and monetary benefits plus he got us. I guess I was able to convince him so he again decided to stay. He stayed for five more months with us and finally on the fifth month, he again told me his plan of leaving. This time, I can feel that this is what would really make him happy as things are not going really well for him anymore in the office. He've had enough disappointments already and I felt as if he is not enjoying our company anymore because of seeing "someone or something" that reminds him of a very bad feeling....I know he is not happy in what he is doing anymore. I began accepting the fact that he is leaving me soon - knowing this is what my friend wants and what would make him happy. In his last two weeks with us, I've noticed a lot of changes in his personality - a used to be jolly person is now most of the time quiet. He would normally ask us if there is any gimmick after shift, but in his last weeks - he would leave the office immediately. All I hear from him are complaints and disappointments he have for the company. I knew right there and then, I need to let him go...I know he could find his happiness somewhere else. A place where his talent would be appreciated and where he could show how much potential he have. I know he could make it, he is such an intelligent young man. I know wherever he goes and whatever he does, he would excel and would be successful. I promised myself after my bestfriend Divine left me that I won't let anyone hurt me that much anymore. I don't want to love a friend so much as it would be harder for me to let them go. That's exactly what I am feeling right now, it hurts to see a dear friend leave again but I know this time it's different...leaving this time means happiness, success and hope for a brighter future. I know kabsat would always be around...sabi nya nga, pakalat kalat lang sya sa Maynila at siguradong magkikita kami dahil lagi nya akong dadalawin sa bahay at magbibinggo kami ng mga kapitbahay. Hahaha.

I was absent the night he passed his resignation. I guess it's a blessing in disguise as I know that it would be a very sad night for me. I don't know what my reaction would be seeing him leave through the door of the office for the last time knowing my life @ CVG would never be the same without him. Though he assured me that nothing would be changed in our friendship and that he would always be around for me - I still feels that things would not be the same. There will be no more Mamu who would text me before the shift starts to ask me where I am and would meet up with me downstairs, no more Mamu that would look for a way to make sure we'll find a seat next to each other, no more okrayan moment, no more rampa moment every breaktime, no more coffee session. No more Mamu that would go to my workstation, no matter how far it is from his, every break time just to have a small chit chat and just to ask me how's my day. No more jolly moment @ Quickcomm who throws crazy and naughty jokes and who gives troubleshooting steps for those out of scope issues that only he could support. No more after shift lafhang moment and no more emotional chitchat with the most intellectual, most gorgeous, most lovable, most giving friend I've ever had. I don't know why we bonded so much though I am six years older than him. I promised to be the big sister she never had and I promised to treat him as my little gay brother. I would definitely miss him - that's for sure. I hope I could endure the next two years I've left with CVG without him. I am still happy that I still have friends left to laugh with, to party with, to chat with but nothing compares with the happiness I have when we were still complete with Mamu. I know he would just be around for his "ate" - just the way he promised. I pray God would lead him to the right path and I hope he would be happier in his next job. I pray he would be able to get the desires of his heart very soon. All the best for my bestfriend, my brother, my kabsat, my kafatid and you know I love you so much from the bottom of my heart. Farewell and Godspeed my dear friend mamu....

HERE'S A REMINDER OF A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP WE HAD @ CVG...

I would miss you Kabsat! Goodluck!

"May the Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other"

-Gen. 31:49

Single and Searching

My friend Melai just came from a short vacation and she called me on my cel just to inform me that she do have something for me. I sooo love this girl. She is a kind of friend I intend to keep in my life forever. I just have one prayer for her because until now, she is still searching for her soulmate..and since she is like a sister to me, I feel that what concerns her concerns me too that's why I am always looking for ways for her to meet new friends. One time, I told her about miami singles , a portal for Miami girls and guys who are searching love on the net. It's an easy to use site which lets you create free profile and let you upload photos, let you send instant messages and even join Audio/video chatroom among others. It's the best site for people looking for their soulmates in Miami. I hope she can find the love of her life through that site.

*brought to you by miamisingles.com*

i miss my best buddy

I miss my gayest gayest gayest friend Mamu. I've been without him for almost 2 weeks now and honestly... my day is'nt complete without him. No MAXCAP, no LOGOUTS, no LATES, no RAMPA moment sa break time, no JOKES with LAITAN on the side, no HEART to HEART talk, no LIBREHAN moments, NO ubusan ng kwento MOMENTS sa YM - NO MORE MAMU ON THE FLOOR... who would'nt be sad? It's just good that still have Melai, Perl and Ice to keep me sane through these tough times. I'm counting the days that we'll gonna be with our dear Mamu again and keep the good times alive with our wacky dabarkads! I sooo miss you Mamu!

Starcity Day!

After our shift last Friday, we decided to go to Starcity. It's really not planned, we actually planned of going there Sunday morning - but Mamu informed us that he needs to go back to Agoo on February 1 so we have no choice but to just go with the flow. After a very busy day, grabe a lot of calls talaga...nareskill pa kami one hour bago kami umuwi. phew! Sobrang nakakapagod...buti nalang I am looking forward sa end of shift because kung hindi..hay naku, nasira na ang araw ko. Anyways, after getting our salary - we immediately went to Robinsons Galleria. It's our meeting place and waited for Jojo, Bennie, Mamu and Jon. I called Mamu up and he said Jon just woke up and they will be in Gale within an hour. So we just waited. We met Jojo, then Bennie came after 30 mins followed by Jon and Mamu. We decided to take MRT going to Taft and would just take a cab from Taft to Starcity. It was really a very enjoyable day with my friends. The first ride we tried was the "Star Flyer" - actually, I really don't want to ride that because there is a loop in the end. I don't think I can handle that, but my friends keep on teasing me and finally I gave in. It was a great experience. It's nice that the ride only lasted for barely 2 minutes. I'm fortunate I did'nt tried the "Galaga Ride" because after they tried that, I cant hear anything but complaints. LOL! Next stop was "Gabi ng Lagim" - and of all people, I don't expect my hubby Jojo to say "Labas ng tayo!" Hahaha! We also tried "Surf Dance" - one of the best rides I rode so far in my entire life as well as the ever famous "Bump Car". They also rode "Magic Carpet" but I refused to join as I am already very dizzy. We also saw a "Ballet Presentation" on their mini theatre entitled "High School Musikasayahan..." - Pinoy Version of High School Musical. It's just sad that Jonjon have to leave early since he still have a shift at 10 pm. They tried Ferris Wheel and went back to ride Surf Dance and Star Flyer for the second time. We stayed until closing time at 12 mn and as our finale...we tried the " Wild River". After a very tiring day...they decided to just spend the night with us and we went home very thirsty. We call it a night at around 2 am. It's our way to bid our farewell to our dear friend Mamu as he would leave us for a while to attend to his family's needs. He promised to come back after a month and we all hold on to that promise. Here are some of our wacky pictures during the trip.

Happy Birthday Best Friend!

If my best friend is alive...she would be celebrating her 29th birthday today. It's so sad that she passed away 4 years ago. I still think of her once in a while...I miss her laughter, how she laugh on even the corniest joke I make. I miss her text invitations asking us, her barkada, to come and join her on some special occasions such as her birthday, her siblings birthday, their town fiesta etc. I miss everything about her. Life is too short indeed. If I only knew I only have limited time to spend with her...If I only knew I won't be able to grow old with her...If I only knew she would leave too soon... but it's too late.she is perfectly okey. I hope she would save a room next to her so we could still make "chicka" when the time when I need to join her in heaven. I can imagine where she is currently residing right now.. a very peaceful, green community surrounded by water just like what shows on the picture.



Anyways, our shift is light. It's a good thing they did'nt have me reskilled to HN split so since I am still on DSL - our avail time is longer, max of 30 mins. I hope the que would still be like this next week. It's my last day this week and tomorrow is my rest day! Finally! Coached called for a meeting and discussed SOPAS - which stands for "State of the Program Address" - he discussed our goals...where we stand in the call center industry, how we performed last year and what we would expect for the coming year. The meeting went well until we felt a commotion as Mamu, my gay friend started to share some concerns about how coach lead the team. He started saying he does'nt feel appreciated but instead hears negative remarks on event the littlest flaws he made. Everyone is tense as Mamu continue to show dissapproval on what our coach is saying and honestly...I feel for both of them. I feel Mamu's dissappointment as he constantly pass his scorecard and yet TL never commended him. I feel TL's situation as I know he was caught off guard...he never expected Mamu would tell him his concerns right there in the middle of the meeting where most of the team are present. Coach asked Mamu to stay after the meeting. We all went back to our stations but I never received a call after that. After shift, we decided to eat at Robinson's - that's when Mamu told us what he told Coach. He was able to tell him all his concerns and was happy Coach understood him. He also received a text from TL saying how much he appreciate his efforts and that he would change from now on. It's good to hear that our coach is open to any suggestions and did not took any concerns personally. Mamu said he asked coach if he could apply for a one month leave and I believe TL would grant it. Haaay, just thinking how long one month would be without my best gay buddy on the floor makes me cry. I don't want him to go but as a sister, I know he needs to rest. I know he wants something more than what he have right now and if leaving CVG would open a door for a much greater opportunity - I would be the first person to persuade him to leave. I just hope he would give me some time to absorb all his plans so I could also adjust.

That's the hardest thing for me to tackle - LEAVING. I don't want anyone to leave me especially people I love... but I know it's inevitable. I just hope God would give me the strength to face any changes that would happen and I hope He would stay with me when everyone's gone...


-for free blog images

I never thought I could write about this...

BEWARE:

"DON'T LET YOURSELF FALL FOR THE WRONG GUY...."

Yung first part ng post, - naipost ko sya because an old friend...a past memory, a long lost secret love....asked me out lately lang through YM. I don't know if it's romantic in nature pero kahit na - parang inappropriate. Lagi naman syang ganyan eh, he would usually buzz me and flirt. Nakakatawa kasi di naman kami ganun mag-usap before. He would normally joke na magpakasal na kami...kung tanggap ko raw ba sya...and lagi nya akong inaaya lumabas. SIguro wala nga syang ibang makasama and he wants to have someone na sasamahan sya gumimik ... I always say yes and we would normally agree to meet at a certain time... kaso laging walang closure. Di naman kami nagkikita. I think this is the tenth time na nag-arrange kaming magkita pero di naman natutuloy kasi di ako sumisipot. Okey lang siguro sa kanya, kasi he never followed it up on me.Kung talagang gusto nya akong makasama, he would at least remind me through text kaso wala eh. Okey lang kung tuloy, okey lang kung hindi. Ganun naman talaga sya noon pa...anything goes lang pagdating sakin... gusto nya lang talaga ng kasama...bakit ako pa?!

We used to be bestfriends before sa first job ko - and I know ALLLLL his flaws - that's one of the reasons why I left the office. I AM BEGINNING TO FALL IN LOVE WITH MY FRIEND - kahit ayoko. Ayoko talaga sa kanya, pero ang puso dimo talaga maturuan no? Ang kulet! Alam mo na ngang wala kang mapapala dun sa taong yun - sya pa rin ang gusto mong makasama. Naitanong ko sa sarili ko na, of all people bakit sya pa ang napili mong mahalin. Wala syang kwenta. Napaka childish, social climber, bastos. Wag na yan, marami jang iba. Kaso wala eh...diko alam kung nagayuma ako kaso yun talaga gusto nyang mahalin eh.

Nung una wala lang...he is definitely NOT my type - kaso since we are on the same team - wala kang choice but to mingle with him especially we are both living in San Juan that time. We became closer and closer to the point na everyone is asking kung kami na. Of course NOT! He NEVER asked me if I love him. Everything was plain and simple. Until I started noticing somethings na mapapaisip ka kung me meaning or what. A girl always knows and I have a lot of officemates who also noticed a sudden change in his personality. We started going out together, watching movies and he even went to Church with me and completed the training (btw, I am a born again Christian). Even he admitted to me na ako lang ang nakapagpasimba sa kanya. Things started to go deeper and deeper na parang ayaw ko na syang mawala. Naiinis ako sa mga bagay na ginagawa at di nya ginagawa - which I think is so UNHEALTHY for me. I started getting jealous, I started feeling miserable to the point na I feel kelangan ko na syang mawala sa buhay ko so I can live a normal life again. Most nights are spent thinking if talaga bang Mahal nya ako gaya ng sinasabi ng mga officemates ko or he is just being nice? Pag uuwi ako, I would normally pass by Megamall Chapel and cry...asking God everytime to take away my feelings for him kasi nahihirapan na ako...HINDI NYA ALAM. He makes a JOKE out of it all. He does'nt know...na minahal ko sya. SOBRA. Pero sya, minahal nya kaya ako talaga? Yung actions nya says - oo pero he never said that to my face. Siguro sa biro OO pero in reality - who knows?! Until now - I don't know... and I need not know....IT DOES'NT MATTER TO ME ANYMORE.

I resigned because I don't want him to control my emotions. I think that's the best thing to do. Live a life away from him. Nobody knows my TRUE reason why I left. Some would even think I am a fool leaving that company when they already offered me a Team Leader position at that time.I am half hearted to leave but I thing this is the BEST THING to do. I left, without giving a hint how he ruined it all...I left, with a heavy heart - knowing na this might be the biggest mistake of my life. I am willing to leave everything behind kaysa lagi nalang akong nasasaktan.

Four years has passed, di na kami lumabas together. I went my way and he went his way. Lately nakakapagchat kami pero casual na lang. Me mga times na tinatanong nya ko kung mahal ko sya sa chat namin...kaso binabara ko. Diko alam kung nagbibiro sya (which he always does) pero kahit sa biro hindi nakakatawa - HOW DARE YOU ASK ME HOW I FEEL NOW?! After all those years? WALA KANG KARAPATAN. I will not allow you to ruin my life again the SECOND TIME AROUND. Don't ask me out anymore - I WILL NOT GIVE IN. In as much as I want to...

Yun lang...wala lang. I just feel it's sooo unfair to play with other people's feelings. It's not fair. You don't have any clue kung pa'no mo ako NASAKTAN. Pero okey lang...past is past. I am better now after sharing this part of my life. Natatakot akong mabasa nya pero at the same time, masaya ako kasi at last...I was able to share this. Not that I want some things to happen. NO! I am very much in love now... I just feel na he needs to know para sa susunod - he already know how to handle things. Don't be so close to someone especially if you don't love her. Don't do anything that will make her feel special in any way especially kung alam mong vulnerable sya and he might think of that as one of your moves to win her. It's not pagiging ASSUMING, it's the VULNERABILITY of us, girls. Minsan kahit na ayaw na ayaw mo sa isang tao - pero kung mabait sayo and binibigyan ka ng sobrang attention - you have no choice but to LOVE him. Kahit ayaw mo...

Ito yung topic na ayokong itackle. Beside the fact na inappropriate - some people would not understand. Baka malaman pa nya. Pero okey lang, at least may clue sya kung anong naging impact nya sa life ko noon. He may brag about it - he might think of me differently - I DONT CARE. This is my blog and I need to be true to it. No pretentions. And besides, I think eto na yung closure na hinihintay ko. To leave behind everything that ties us together...even the only thing he could offer - friendship...

Remembering My Bestfriend

Today is my bestfriend's 3rd year death anniversary and I must say I really miss her. If she is still alive, I bet she already have a child of her own and of course I would be one of the ninangs. Hay, I don't know how I survived the last 3 years of my life without her. Though we are really not together all the time when she is still alive, I never fail to call her...email her...text her especially when there are special occasions or when there are problems that I want to share only to few people I trully trust. Now that she is gone, our barkada is not that active anymore. My gay friend, Mike, does'nt communicate as much as before when we still have our Divine around. She is like a thread that ties us all and now that she is gone...things have never been the same again. Her family already left their old house and as what I've heard...they are now living in Antipolo City. I hope I could visit them one of these days. To all who know's lives was touched by dear Divine, let's not forget to offer a prayer for our friend who now is in God's hands. AMEN.

+++ LET ME SHARE TO YOU A POST ENTRY I'VE MADE ON MY OTHER BLOG REGARDING THE DEATH OF MY BESTFRIEND...+++

Saturday, November 05, 2005

I lost my bestfriend last oct 20...that was my off. I was busy fixing our house because I was supposed to go in our house in Montalban when one of my good friend, odette, texted me asking me not to go home today because of my bestfriend Divine. My heart thumped so fast because of the text so I called Odette up. She told me my bestfriend is gone...at first, i cannot believe my ears so I asked her once again if it's true and she said it is. The first words that came out of my mouth was " Odette, ang laki ng kasalanan natin kay Divine..", having in mind that she is asking me to visit her when she was still in the hospital. Actually I visited her thrice, but on her last request I wasnt able to do that. I never texted her after that because I just want to surprise her when I already had the chance to visit her maybe not in the hospital anymore but in their home where I could see that she's ok already. I hate to see her suffering from the sickness that she had.But now, I will never be able to surprise her...I would never be able to see her again. Not in another 50,60 years from now...I will definitely miss her. After I heard that, I immediately called up Jojo, I want to be with him. I want him to accompany me thru my despair and im happy that jojo is very supportive, in less than 30 mins he's already knocking at the door. Im not so sure if I would collapse after hearing that, being with jojo makes me feel a lot better.Then we proceed to the Paz Funeral Homes, at the entrance, I already saw her name in the list of dead people that would have their wake in that place. I cant believe it! Whenever I see her name, I can sense a feeling of being happy, being at home...but now its a terrifying scene...Louie fetched us at the gate of the funeral home, according to him Divine was still being embalmed as of the moment. So we went straight to the embalming section, and there I saw her cousin Michelle. We hug and cried together - it such a great grief. And there lying in the bed, I saw my bestfriend - very stiff. I can't believe it up to this day...the person who gave such importance to our friendship..the one who gave me special mention on her salutatory speech, the person who made me her 18th candle, the person who made me feel part of her family, the person who introduced me as her bestfriend in her friends and family members...is gone, lying on that cold bed..lifeless.... i can still remember our last meeting, it was June 24. I received a text message from her while in the office asking me (actually, begging me...) if I could go to Odette's place for San Juan Fiesta. Actually, it was indeed on my plan that I together with Jojo would go to Odette's place later that night, and her asking me to go and accompany her makes me certain about my decision to go. I told her Ill gonna fetch her at 8 pm but it was so traffic so she finally gave up and told me to just go directly to Odette's place, anyway, her college friend Jen is already with her so they will go ahead. When I finally came to the vicinity, I texted her... I asked her if they could fetch me im already on the next street...but no one replied, so I went straight and found my barkada and jojo's kada as well. I was looking for her and I saw her hiding in one of my friends shoulder joking so she can surprise me that she is wearing a long wig. She was so pretty in that wig, its as if she never suffered from her recent chemotheraphy session. We laughed all night, she even took a picture of us in her phone and she also took some picture of herself in her phone, as if she was mesmerized by her gorgeous look. My gay bestfriend Pipa also took a picture of us together and I saw that picture in her wake and I really cried...I never thought that would be the last portrait of us together. Divine had to leave early because her mom, tita linda would definitely get angry if she went home later than the designated time. so we accompanied her together with her college buddies outside the house and I hugged her tight, so tight that she the wig almost drop off her head. I never thought that it would be my last embrace to a very dear friend...and that was it. I will never ever see that lovely smile ever again as long as I live... I could still remember the time we (me,jojo, pipa, louie - her ex) , and vhine went to Laguna for an overnight swimming - we were very happy sobra...we are even looking forward another time like this and we planned of being together again in our company outing in montemar. But unfortunately there has been some schedule problems so it was never facilitated. After that she worked as a stewardess at negros navigation...she even gave us foods from Davao as our pasalubong (thru her ex louie, my former officemate also). She was such a thoughtful girl...a very loving and a caring one. At the last day of the wake...we were given the chance to have a speech and a testimonial on how Vhine made an impact in our lives...when it was already my turn, as the bestfriend, I was the second on the line after her mom... I talked about our competition when we were still in highschool, I discussed about how my greatest competitor became my bestfriend...I have a thousand of things to say at that time but I dont know why I only said a few. Maybe because I was nervous, shocked, and most of all...lonely. Because of her lost, I suddenly realized the importance of time...the importance of family...the importance of close relationship with God. Ive learned that we can never tell when is the moment that God would fetch us to be with Him. Learn to seize the day, always look at the bright side of life...life is too short to worry about small things... to all my friends- pipa, odette, ruth, malen, syana, mean, shai, jag, pam, pinky, tope, dhang,cel,maricris,mama wendy,mhay, aileen, jen, hannah,kat, atey and many more... i love you. I will try my best to be a good friend to all of you... and to my bestfried Divine, who is now my angel....I love you. I hope I have uttered those words personally to you but i know in the email we sent to each other, i know you know that whenever I say I love you at the end of the message ..its from the heart. as what the song says..."farewell to you my friend..well see each other again...",i know we'll see each other again...maybe not in this lifetime...but in eternity....

AN OLD FRIEND

I suddenly remembered an old male friend and a former officemate who is nowhere to be found right now. I don't know what happened to him but the last time he sent an offline message through yahoo messenger... he said he already resigned from work. Kahit makulit yung lalakeng yun, namiss ko sya all of a sudden. I hope I can spend time with him one of these days and maakay ko ulit sya sa tamang landas. Wherever you are my friend, I hope you're okey...you know you will always be special to me...

LOVING THE CVG LIFE

Good day everyone! Was'nt able to post for more than two weeks on this blog because I'm very busy at my full time work. Just last month, the entire team was reskilled to DSL split from the old split which is HOME NETWORKING which means more modems to configure, more scope of support and more avail time...Yah, we're experiencing avail moments on our new split now which sometimes take up to an hour before we receive a call.
Yahoo! Goodbye wireless, goodbye static ips and irate callers. I'm so happy on how things are going on my life right now... first, because of our new split and second because of my new found friends at CVG. I really thought my life would be different since our old team has been scattered to different teams - but to my surprise, life has been better. I was able to bond with most of my teammates and were not just teammates now - we do have a sorrority! Hahaha. Most of my them are very funny and "walang pikon sa kanila" promise, whenever we talk and bond - it is always a BLAST! Most of my new teammates are straight but since one of them already "came out of the closet" - parang naging gay sorrority na ang team namin! Hahaha. We started going out, eating out, bar hopping, and even saw a movie together! Here's some of our some of those memorable bonding moments with the team...

early morning LUNCH @ MCDO after VGH!

GHERJ'S DESPEDIDA
LUNCH @ D' PANTRY

saw a movie @ MEGA (napagtripan lang....KULAM)

I hope all the days of my CONVERGYS LIFE would be as happy and fun as this!

Friendship Beyond Work

i had my shift last night at 9 pm. Sinabihan na ako ni coach the day before that na wag na akong malate because 2 consecutive days na akong late ng more than an hour. Actually , I promised him naman na I will be at the office 30 minutes before my scheduled shift kaso sa kamalas malasan naman... hindi gumagana ang avaya ko! Nooohhhh! 9:00 pm na and hindi pa rin ako naka log in sa avaya though I have already logged in sa mytoto (our digital time card). Hayyyy. I really cant understand myself lately. I always woke up an hour and a half before my shift though I know for a fact that my travel time is no less than one full hour or even more lalo na pag Friday. Blogging takes so much of my time. Imagine, I would go home usually at 7:30 am and I would take my breakfast and the next 4 hours are spent in front of the pc updating my 10 blogs...yup, ten blogs all in all. Ang sakit sa ulo!!!! Well, I know I should not push myself to the limit but I know we need to strike the iron while the iron is hot. Most of my blogs does have PRs and before the master take them away.... I want to get as many review offers as I could while I still have it because I fear that I would it's a big 0 again on my tool bar. I hope I can have at least a week leave so I could catch up with my blogs. As for now, I think I would need to shorten my sleep time to 5 hours a day. I hope I can make it to the office on time tonight.

By the way, my officemate and my close friend Gherj already resigned. It's indeed a great loss especially that she is my friend. Wala nang tagatawa sa mga corny kong jokes, wala na akong katampuhan, kasabay umuwi, kachat, kasama sa banchetto pag wala si ice, kasama sa kfc, mcdo, jollibee sa lunch pag wala si ice, wala nang magpapasalubong ng triple choco boom sa floor...wala na si Gherj sa office.... and felt na felt ang kawalan nya at least samin ni ice. Sabi ko nga, almost a week na syang wala sa office...sya parin ang hot item sa mga kwentuhan namin. I would definitely miss her, but I know, there is a greener pasture for her kaya masaya na rin ako. Di bale, pag natuloy sya sa Singapore...magpapapetisyon ako. Hahaha. We'll miss you Gherj, CVG would never be the same without you! Here are some of our unforgettable moments together that I would forever remember.

I'll gonna miss our picture takings sa office courtesy of your hi tech na digicam... (nabisto tuloy na peke eyebrow ko, hahaha!)

I'll gonna miss our early morning breakfast sa banchetto and ang pag kokoya hunting nyo ni bebe ice

our gimiks and lunch dates... our chickahan and chismisan at syempre ang mga joke time!

ILL GONNA MISS YOU JORGE! THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!
Kahit minsan KJ ako...andito lang ako pag kailangan mo ng magpapatawa sayo. God Bless you my friend and till we meet again...

love,